Halfway

33 Days of Truth: Day 15

Halfway

Two whole weeks into my personal growth challenge, 33 Days of Truth!

I’m halfway. Well, halfway-ish. Somewhere around the Wednesday Hump Day of my challenge. And I confess: I’m feeling myself petering out just a wee bit. It is requiring slightly more effort to harness my focus and motivation for digging in deep.

Which, now that I say it, wasn’t necessarily my aim for the challenge. The point is to be honest and real. I guess I equate honesty with depth. And a lot of what I want to talk about in terms of personal truth requires substantial below-the-surface coverage.

Halfway in and I’m struggling, a little because I’m tired, and because the newness is wearing off, and consequently I’m feeling less energized in the creative process.

I am still making it my priority to write every day, which is a huge deal. One of the parallel goals I had in taking on the challenge was to write, write, write. And it may be the most consistent progress I’ve ever made in that regard.

And, I still absolutely love it. The challenge is allowing me to release and open up as never before. I’m growing and expanding from the experience of sharing my truth, stretching myself to write on personal, vulnerable, heartfelt subjects every single day. It’s amazing.

That said, the high level of inspiration I felt at the start, that woke me up at 4am to write like a crazy person, has kind of tempered itself. Perhaps that is simply a byproduct of being really busy; it’s hard to keep up. I’m fitting deep dive attempts into weird pockets of availability, and I’m end up having to post my thoughts before I feel they’ve been fully expressed. It’s a little annoying. 

I would of course prefer to have a wide open schedule in order to do nothing but write! Ah, in a perfect world… But if we waited for the ideal situation or timing to do the things we wanted, we’d never do them. (Aaaaand that’s been most of my life!)

In all honesty, having more time to write would probably hinder more than help. With priors in perfectionism, it is better that I not think too hard and simply get stuff out.

Beginnings are definitely where I shine best, when I’m fresh and the process is most exciting and alive, the journey unknown. As I make headway, gain some ground, and whatever it is I’m doing becomes familiar to me, some of the anticipatory edge wears off and the great blaze settles into a small, humble fire. I think I wear down, when it may actually be I’m simply settling in.

I do not like to settle. So I’m great at starting out on things, but I often finish with a fizzle. I’d like to change that. Staring with this challenge! I set out to write about my self and life honestly and authentically for 33 days. And darn it, that’s what I’ll do! That’s what I’m doing. 

There are some big Truth topics yet to write about, that are near and dear to my heart. I want to do them justice. Thankfully we’re heading into the weekend. Weekends are the better time to get some meaty content written. 

Play on words there, as that’s a hint at what my next post will be about. 😉

Until tomorrow!

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