My family says “I love you” a lot. We say it every time we see or talk to each other. I often say it to my close friends, too. I was raised to tell the people I care about that I love them as much as possible, because we never know the last chance we’ll get to do so.
It is a habitual expression for me, and I think a good habit to have, however overuse can cause any message to lose some of its depth and significance. Thus I try to always stay aware of and connected to the truth behind it, and to back the words up with validating actions.
While it is important to say “I love you” regularly, speaking those words and really meaning them do not always go hand-in-hand for people. The phrase may come with baggage stuffed full of distortions, conditions, limitations, and degrees of untruth. Consequently for many it is difficult to express; some may not say it at all, or else to only a very select few.
Saying “I love you” in its purest sense requires a fullness of heart and a detachment to its reception. Real love does not need to receive anything back, nor does it try to control the giving. It is not limited to one person or type of connection; it is infinitely flexible and accommodating. It seeks expansion in all ways. It flows from understanding our innate oneness, recognizing the mirror quality to the relationships in our lives, and appreciating how precious a gift that is. As we change, the reflection changes too. Authentically loving and being loved serves our development as conscious human beings, in the highest of ways.
To truly say “I love you” to another is to say, “I see you. I cherish you. I know you, without fully ever knowing. I delight in you, in the continual unfolding and discovery of who you are. You are a reflection of me and I of you, and I find more of myself, through you. To the best of my ability, I honor the light in both of us. Together or apart, I support our mutual fulfillment, joy, and growth.”
To truly say “I love you” is to say, “I love me, too.”