33 Days of Truth: Day 21
On Day 21 of my 33 Days of Truth challenge, I have to take a moment to talk about my sister. Because she is awesome AF and today she made me cry. Again.
She’s good at that.
I cried while reading her latest blog post,which she wrote while sitting on a plane leaving Maui and heading to California. She described in the beautiful inspired way she does the experience of her final day on island, and her feelings as she heads toward her big dream and epic adventure of thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. I’m so proud of her I could burst. I love her more than I can ever possibly express. I miss her terribly already.
We will see each other in about six weeks or so, when I plan to meet up with her on trail. But six weeks is like six hundred months in sister years.
It’s ok though, we’ve done this before. Actually, I take that back. We have not done this before. We’ve been apart, of course, but this is a new evolution for us, in who we are as people and what we are creating in our lives; this is a quantum leap ahead of where we’ve ever been.
My sister is truly spreading her wings and flying, coming into her own. And in many ways I am in process of doing the same. There is a power, an aliveness, and a deep resounding truth, in the steps and directions we are currently taking. The path with heart is unfolding beneath our feet.
Although our paths are physically diverging for the moment, the greater journey we are on is always closely entwined within both our hearts and in the bond we share.
My sister… Ok, she does have a name, Corinna, AKA Rinna. (But I do sometimes call her “sister”, although usually it’s “sissy”; occasionally “sis-boo”, or “sis-bug” or “sister-pants”, etc. etc.)
My sister (LOL) and I are very close, and have been for most of our lives. When I moved away from home after high school, she would come visit every summer, and when she graduated high school, she moved right in with me. We’ve been off again/on again roommates ever since. She is six years younger than me, about nine inches taller, and absolutely my better half.
We laugh about our special relationship, how we’ve been a lot like a couple over the years. We’ve been giddy young honeymooners and a happy married pair. We’ve grown apart, broken up, gotten back together. We’ve gotten divorced. And we’ve found each other again, and yet again.
She knows everything about me, every secret, every flaw. She gets all my jokes and references. She loves and accepts me just as I am. And I feel the same for her. Where her soul goes, mine goes. Where she is, that’s where my heart is also.
My life is infinitely blessed and made better by her existence, and by her presence in my world. I’m so stupidly ridiculously grateful for that, such a rare and precious gift.
If ever there were such a thing as soulmates, we are that.
So inevitably, as Rinna’s departure from the island drew ever closer, I was feeling it. Anticipation of how much I would miss her. Worry, in spite of myself, that something could happen while she’s out there trekking through the wilderness on the PCT.
But I quieted any thoughts of fear with the realization that I would rather her be out there in the dangers of the big beautiful world and held fully in the arms of life, than to remain in the perceived safety and security of a normal existence, holding life back at arms length. That’s the real danger, I think. To not truly live. To shrink away from big dreams and grand challenges. To never go off the paved roads and the beaten paths and step foot onto a long dirt trail just to see how far it goes.
My sis is walking off the map of our known world, leaving behind the comforts and conveniences of normal domestic life, going off on an adventure, passing the point beyond which there be dragons (and trees and wildflowers and animals and no toilets).
And I trust her to do it. To live as her soul must: stepping one foot in front of the other, with heart and courage, into the wild wondrous Unknown.